Site compromised

It is with a heavy heart that I report that my site has been compromised. I do have a day job and due to an event that I would be unwise to discuss have reason to believe that loggers / screencappers etc. may have been put on my system. Given that it most likely recorded me as a site admin to this site then, well, I am sure you can imagine the concern that would cause me, especially given that many insane people have been used as “useful idiots” to conceal my identity and existence.

I did not choose my identity, and my goal in this has only been to warn. Not that I guess there is a lot most of you can do about giant stomping monsters and alien invasions but I would hope that perhaps some of you would try to stock up on some food and water, or that maybe, reading about the possibility could at least lessen the shock when the event does occur.

So, I do not know my next step. It is something that I need to discuss with my circle. I apologize for this lapse of security on my part, I should only ever had adminned and updated this site from home on a private system.

Of animals and eating – conversations with my inner circle

Wow, that’s really expensive, though I imagine it’s because there’s not as many buffalo out there 😦

That’s interesting that it’s healthier. I didn’t mind it, but the whole meat thing is a complicated one for me. M has gone pescetarian and I had no problem with that when he was living with me. But I am kind of lazy and pressed for time. My home isn’t unpacked and meat is prevalent here, and I have to buy much of of my food, thus I eat meat for convenience. But I would be happier if I didn’t have to eat meat. I do not like that an animal has had to die for me.

Perhaps it is more than that. I do not like the factory farming and industrialization of animals that has happened it lacks compassion and is evil. And I thought about it for a while and said that if there was an ascension process, through animals, then I imagine some souls would get trapped in a factory farming situation never able to learn what they need to to progress, that seems just horrible.

D has stated that some animals are meant to die. I do not deny that but I would lie if I said it did not challenge my heart and soul. I personally LOVE how the Kobe beef in Japan are raised. They are given a great life and slaughtered extremely compassionately. Something that I HATE are those that claim cruelty is ok IN MY NAME!!

I cannot turn away from this and want to punish such people. That they DARE to justify cruelty using verses of the bible. That is an abomination to me and I do want the worst of these professors to be made an example of.

_________________________________

I do not condone cruelty;

I try to eat cruelty free meat whenever possible, organic feed (no antibiotics), grass fed, free range eggs, etc.

Most buffalo meat is expensive because it IS organic, grass-fed meat.

The inuit have an expression that I will paraphrase:  they believe that all beings, including animals have souls.  And while it’s regrettable we have to kill to survive, at the same time we should realize we should thank those animals for their sacrifice since otherwise we’ll be surrounded by angry animal spirits.

It’s a lot like trying to respect the body/blood of Christ.  Beings die so others might live on this planet.  That’s the nature of this cruel universe.

The least we can do is say thanks.

_________________________________

They tried VERY hard to hide this email from me, but I knew it was there. I did know about the Indians giving thanks to the animals that gave their life for food. I have always agreed with it, with such great reverence.

And surrounded by angry animal spirits is very serious, but also kind of funny in that imagining it in the Simpsons kind of way.

In the end though, that this is a cruel universe makes me sad. That beings die so that others may live is so very unpleasant to me. I guess thus the afterlife, the place of perfection. I don’t even know how these things can be, in my thoroughly nerfed state.

But I am glad that there is an end to the cruelty and suffering, for everyone.

Not exactly thrilled that I had to be brutalized so, but I explained the whole hero thing and that’s just how I I deal with it.

_________________________________

I’ve slaughtered my own animals before (Fish, chicken)  and it’s a humbling experience dude.  You realize just how that little package of meat got to your shelf.

_________________________________

It pains me greatly to have to eat meat. I do not want to. I want to be a vegetarian but society is not made to be that way, my time is so limited and I succumb to fast food or a restaurant. When M was around (he lived with me for 6 months. It was … a lot of testing) but I was able to cook entirely vegetarian.

I have no desire to kill my own food. It is not something that sits right with my Spirit. I once thought to overcome this I had to catch a fish and kill it, but was unsuccessful and am glad that I was.

Demonic pets – conversations with my inner circle

So, because I am very weird, it has been bothering me a lot that D said that these monsters will go to the fire.

I am not a fan of the fire. Eternal torture is not right. Punishment is acceptable but there always has to be room for redemption. Are we to let even humanity be more compassionate than us?

But, irrespective, in other conversations people have hinted that these pets are literal monsters; Godzillas and they just do what their nature propels them to.

Should a guard dog be made to suffer eternally for protecting it’s master? No, I think something that isn’t sentient and is not able to choose for good and evil, that is more like an animal, should not be made to suffer.

But that which chooses evil over good should get all its due.

And please know, I would do everything in my power to stop the terror and destruction these monsters cause but I do not deny that it would be easier to destroy robots (sorry silicons) than biological entities. It seems sad to me that anything that can feel (pain, emotions etc.) should be made to suffer by any of us.

Kaijus / Giant stomping things, finally, an answer

Watching the trailer to the new Godzilla movie it was D that explained this to me.

Once again, to explain to new readers I have been having dream after dream after end of the world dream for a long time and many of them featured giant Stomping monsters. These were not fun dreams.

In them, I would be in a city, running from them with thousands, if not millions of people. The screams, the tears, the real sense of fear running from these was absolutely real.

Like in a scene out of Pacific Rim I remember running into the subway, actually, (and only W & J will understand this) it was Wynyard station. Everyone went as far underground as you can. I remember being with the people, they are crying and weeping, others are trying to get them to be quiet. Through it all I hear the stomp after stomp, the ground shakes, dust falls and it is utterly terrifying.

I also remember telling W about these dreams years ago, and I said, what do you do when you’re being chased by a giant monster and his answer was "think like a mouse". A very brilliant answer.

I have been trying to warn you all of this, to tell you that giant monsters are coming, but I didn’t know if they were alien, dimensional beings, I just didn’t know. It is no accident that there is another Godzilla movie coming out, it has to be getting close, it has to!!

But thanks to D, now I know.

THEY ARE DEMONS.

GIANT DEMONS. Pets to the "Overlords", or the vile ones.

He did say that they will go to the fire, but I have seen the destruction and horror that they bring until then and it is bad.

So much waiting, I just want to activate and fight these abominations!

And please know dear people. I am here for you, I am here to protect you, I will fight and punish evil and I will make them sorry that they EVER dared to attack this planet.

For me, I will receive my abilities and it will be wonderful, but for you it shall be terrible, I am so sorry, I will do EVERYTHING that I can to help and protect you!

The Matrix saga – diary entry

They are trying to nickle and dime me (emotionally) to death.

So April last year I learn that there are really CHEAP HD DVD movies out there. I think this works out well because I have an HD DVD player on my 360.

So I got the Matrix Ultimate thingamagy ($13) put it in my HD DVD player (April last year) only to discover that my HD DVD player has died. Funny, ha ha, all that.

I watch prices, I umm and arrr, I think forget it, I’ll just use Netflix for a while.

Come November I was able to find a replacement HD DVD drive for $20, ok, that works.

Put it my Matrix from the Ultimate box set in and it dies 30 mins into the movie. I look at the disk and there’s a scratch as big as an elephants butt.

Now, it will take over $100 for me to replace my HD DVD movies to Blu Ray (Not a lot, right).

So I check, replacement HD DVD Matrix is $1.20 and $3 for shipping. Ok, $4.20 – I’m still ahead here.

Go to watch Matrix reloaded last night and right at the big fight scene between Neo and Hugo weaving, my FAVORITE scene, brrrrr-zaaap – (head goes crazy) and the disk fails.

Ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

So I check my (now very old) order, why are these boxset disks so shithouse? Oh, it’s because I bought a "Used – Like New" version. You AMAZON reseller bastards, BASTARDS!!

“Like New” my freaking butthole, I thought I was getting NEW.

It gets better, kind of, I used a scratch repair kit to try and fix it but the scratch repair kit is PURE evil.

The "paste" you’re supposed to apply is GRITTY and NASTY like sandpaper made of rocks and on a HD DVD disk it obliterated it into OMG it’s so scratched hell. Now the disk won’t even play or read. ROFL-SPLAT I guess…

So I ordered the freakin Blu Ray Trilogy last night for $18.

That now makes it $13+20+4+18.

$55 dollars to try and watch the Matrix trilogy.

All you Blu Ray lovers, yeah yeah, I know, blue-violet lasers are the BIZ and you literally need to run a jackhammer over Blu Ray disks to make them stop working, they really are VERY scratch resistant.

HD DVD, not at all, straight blue lasers do not cope with imperfections very well at all.

Oh, have I learnt anything from this? No, not really. It’s so hard to catch every little detail, and oh I try, because I know that everything is against me, but it is exhausting and you can’t catch everything.

And yes, the only reason I want to watch the Matrix trilogy is because of my experience a couple of weeks ago with the scrolling alien characters in my vision. It was real, it was like the Matrix, it piqued my interest.

Maybe “they” are trying to stop me for this reason?

But, really, these are first world problems. I haven’t had to spend the $55 all at once, it’s been over multiple pays, so I’ll survive.

But still, that which is done to me is ridiculous foolishness!!!

Thanksgiving at my Father’s – conversations with my inner circle

I have so much to say so I’ll give this in punchy bullet form.

· It was an orchestrated event. M was there and my Father was running the show. For the most part it was very uncomfortable. When he and his wife tried to set me up with foolishness I would not answer and instead would stare and meditate.

I know that my mind is read, by all of them, so I taunted them. I sat there thinking “I know who I am, I know what you’re doing and I have grown VERY strong, your powers are not working on me. You cannot loosen my tongue. I am resisting you and you are failing to provoke me”. I said this over and over. And they tried harder and harder, but I sat, and I stared and was completely peaceful.

· At one point I manifested and it stood its ground and my Father was unable to deny it, and instead, He was prepared to listen. For some reason he said that I could not know the terror the people of Flight 93 felt crashing into the ground. I manifested and said “That is a lie, FOR I DO KNOW”. And he challenged me to explain how and I answered, “Why? So you can mock me and tell me that I am insane and deny me”. He said again “You don’t know what you are talking about” and I said “I will not falter on this. EJECT ME!”

And he became calm and said, ok, tell me what you know.

So I explained that for a period of time I had a series of dreams, but they felt real. Very real. I would wake up sitting next to someone, a passenger, male or female, it did not matter. And I held their hand. I sat there with them. I heard the screams, I felt the dips as the plane rose and dropped in altitude. I researched what happened and though I knew nothing of the inside, I knew the number of times it happened based on the dream, it matched up.

Sometimes I was at the window, other times in the aisle. At the window I would watch the ground getting closer and I understood that I would watch it so that they did not have to. I don’t know what this means.

I felt the final dive and it was like a terrible roller coaster, I felt it in my stomach and it was very fast. Too fast, it was uncomfortable, but I held onto their hands until the very end.

Now only an idiot could not translate this. Obviously, these scared people prayed and cried out to me, and I WAS THERE FOR THEM! I did my best in whatever state I am in and I wish I could do more for others. I have had similar events, I think, somehow, I reduce the pain, or take it for these people in this state. I have been executed by a Chinese/Asian soldier, I felt the bullets, many of them rip through my body. In the dream it hurt, but I was also lying on top of the intended recipient and I believe I helped them.

After I told my Father the story he said “How can this can be? How can you do this in these repeating dreams” and I was still manifesting, and I was to declare “It is because I AM the CHRIST” but he heard my mind and before I could say it he said “ARE YOU DEAD?” and somehow, forcing me to contemplate this stopped the manifestation and I said. “I don’t know, I CANNOT quantify where I am. I have contemplated that I am in the Afterlife, yes. It is as valid a theory as on a ship, or angels having taken over the areas in which I live. But I repeated, I do not know where I am. And he wouldn’t say anymore.”

· He repeated many times “I am Bhuddist by day and a Christian by night”. I think he was trying to explain that the Bhudda is one of his “Fatherly” carnations. I said many times, I have no problem with Bhuddists. I wish I was more like them in regard to meat and being able to move insects rather than kill them, but some scare me too much. I thanked him for being a Christian by night. When he said this, whilst taunting me, it turned dark so I said “But it is the night now”.

· At one point he told me of the 101^st airborne and how because of poor performance on D-Day and cowardice that they have to wear the Yellow badge and that they are still suffering the stigma 70 years on and are trying to make up for it. He said that the Military is very unforgiving in that regard. I said, to me it sounds like propaganda, you want your fodder, I mean, soldiers, to always run to their death.

· He had me talk about my UFO experience again, but I said, you mock me for this, you tell me it’s not real. But he insisted, so I did. Her kept on saying it is top secret military technology. And finally I broke, I said, fine, there is something I have not told others because it was always too out there. I said that the machine was able to speak to me telepathically, it spoke into my mind and I could hear it. Thinking this was too insane I never told anyone. Therefore, it cannot be human. This seemed to appease him somehow.

I also stated that when I had the experience I ran (peeled out in a car) screaming and that I have often wondered if I am coward for that and that it haunts me. I said, it is therefore strange that you mentioned the 101^st. Are you trying to tell me that you think I am a coward? He said no, in a battle, some people run away, some people run towards. He stated because of *omitted* he knows that he runs towards. I argued that my response was purely physical, I reacted from adrenaline and everything else and that soldiers are trained to control such things and I have had no training. I said, was it to happen again, I would stand my ground and talk to it.

· He put the TV on and it ended up being about UFOs. I knew every case study of whatever was on. He said that he thinks “Bigfoot” is possible and I said that I have watched “finding Bigfoot” on Animal Planet. He also said that he thinks people will find one. My internal joke is I wonder if they are Wookies.. I did not voice this to my Father.

· He constantly argued against life outside the earth, I constantly argued for.

· M laughed loudly at all of their jokes. It was faked, and strange.

· He was polite, pleasant and kind at my leaving.

I think that is all I have for now.

______________________

Sounds like your dad has a really, really, really big issue with ego.

Is he really that scared?

______________________

I wouldn’t even know what he’s scared of. I think it’s more testing, to see how I react when even my own Father treats me badly.

He did get me a fridge though, and I am very grateful for that.

But I really and truly don’t know. It is simply behavior I don’t understand.

Maybe he doesn’t like me. That is all a possibility. One that I can’t do anything about.

______________________

This shit reminds me of the garden of eden…

I’m so mad blah blah you ate the fruit but here before I kick you out of paradise, have these animal skins so you don’t freeze to death.

"God is unknowable"

Probably because he makes no sense and acts like a bipolar 2yo , just saying.

______________________

This is not exactly an ideal situation though is it?

When you’re a kid, a Son, you just want your Father to be a Father. It’s literally that simple. I also have a very gently nature, so it’s well.. It kind of means you wish a lot I suppose.

______________________

I agree.

I think our failure, as a society and people, stems from shitty father figures.

______________________

My message was changed. Impossible, I am not using my iPAD, I am on a PC with a keyboard.

I said "It kind of makes you SIGH a lot I suppose"

Led by the Holy Spirit .. to spend – conversations with my inner circle

Have spent more money then I have in a REALLY long time.

I don’t know why. I have been frugal for SO LONG. I had money saved for Black Friday stuff and I got to use it. It was all good.

I said I wouldn’t get anymore musical stuff, then a huge deal happened and I just felt thoroughly compelled to get it. I believe the Holy Spirit has pushed me to do so. It is for musical stuff that

is featured in tutorials that I do that I haven’t been able to use, until now.

I will pay it out before interest is charged, I know that I can do this.

But of all the things that have happened, this feels the strangest (edit: exaggeration on my part – some really strange things have happened to me).

____________________

I think this is a natural step in your personal progression. Being able to buy for oneself is much like being able to be your own person again.

Granted, you’ll probably overindulge for a while but I’m sure that’ll come back into line after a time.

Tall grey – conversations with my inner circle

Looks like the tall grey from close encounters.

Sigh, aliens get to see more boobs then I do, lol.

But seriously, this is … curious.

________________________

Gut instinct – fake. My brain generally tells CG at a glance pretty well. Though admittedly it’s pretty cool looking and the movement was
pretty unique.

Reminds me of this:

________________________

I am simply identifying this, I am not bothered, or offended.

I guess you are racking up "comedy" points for the show. But I know when I’m having the piss taken out of me. The rubber octopus wall thing is the piss being taken out of me. I guess it’s kind of funny.

And I’m sure you realize that there is a kind of strangeness from an Arch Angel, confirming that ETs are part of the whole Biblical thing and then poo-pooing something that I think is a little more than interesting. This is no different to my Father telling me that the original ET craft that I saw was top secret military technology.

It is all designed to see if what I know as truth can be wavered, a type of test of faith so to speak.

For the record, I laughed when I saw the video. I do understand your humor. 🙂

________________________

You’re not going to find me more open than I am right now – if it’s a poo pooing, it’s not intentional.  I simply gave you my gut reaction and initial thought that went through my head.

Now that said I did find it really cool.  I thought man, if that’s an ET, that’s one crazy, creepy mother fucker.  But something about the video didn’t ring true to me, visually speaking.  If I had to guess, it’d be the type of aliasing used, which was then covered by using low quality video.  You can’t suddenly shift two separate types of aliasing without some kind of visual bias.

________________________

Fair enough, however I know from numerous reports that in regard to the grays there are the short ones and the really long ones, with long spindly arms like that, sort of spider like. They’re kind of creepy.

This appeared to be a rather fluid moving version of that creature that met criteria that I had confirmed. I know that the beings represented in Close Encounters are accurate for all kinds of reasons that I have mentioned in previous emails.

I watched the video again, it’s a low quality camera video, that’s just how it goes, I don’t think there are any aliasing problems that can be identified because the video is just too low.

What I do see though are very interesting and realistic shadows and a fluidity of movement that would take a VERY skilled photo / 3D manipulator to do. This doesn’t say that such people don’t exist and they’re not
hoaxing, there’s just something "curious" about the video and I’m sticking (haha, pun) to that.

Constant harassment – conversations with my inner circle

I am being DELIBERATELY MESSED AROUND WITH and I KNOW IT – WITH RIDICULOUS CRAP LIKE MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT TRYING TO PURCHASE SOMETHING WITH A DEBIT CARD THAT WAS CLOSED 5 YEARS AGO!

And it’s never had that problem before. I know. I know it’s all fake!!

And whilst I am angry, I am going to damn well say it. I am just playing along because I am forced to. How dare everyone make me pretend that I am stupid when I am NOT. I am quite clever.

When M was living with me he used my PC, I use Chrome. Google has a BAD habit of remembering all login IDs used to get into GMAIL and it will present it to you as an auto fill option on ANOTHER computer. It must use Java or something to do that.

Well, at work one day, as I go to login to my GMAIL, and in my GMAIL userid drop down is my userid, M’s userid (makes sense he was in my house) and low and behold, R’s userid.

AND THE ONLY WAY IT COULD HAVE GOTTEN THERE WAS ACCESS TO MY HOME. So it was either M (most likely) or he gave her access to my house (unlikely) because why the fudge would she then go and check her mail on my system.

Why am I typing this to you??? I DON’T KNOW! They are pushing me, PUSHING ME – The rubbish with my purchases, it’s all fake and I just smile along, but I’m irritated and am clearly venting.

So sorry, but I want to scream!!

__________________

The M / R thing is extra weird. (Note from me: The Arch angel is not allowed to let me know that he knows what’s going on and whether M is R, shape shifted.)

And yeah, google’s deliberate habit of remembering everything is weird.

Dude, don’t repress your emotions.  You’re mad, so be it.  And yes, we’re all kind of rolling with the punches at this point just waiting waiting waiting.  I guess the difference between my personal mentality from before was "I’m waiting because I have to" is now become "I’m waiting because I don’t care"

Seriously, I can’t stress it enough.  I just don’t give a fuck about it anymore.

I’m tired of being strung along and used as a pawn as a result of it.

Like oh look let’s give him a breadcrumb.  Yay breadcrumb!  Ok now three months of nothing!

I’m convinced that when shit goes down, it goes down, and the only thing worrying about it beforehand will get me is paranoid and insane.

Hillsong – conversations with my inner circle

*omitted*

That is Darlene Zchech leading.

Australians are so interesting. Such a small population but such incredible things come from them.

If I really listen to it, close my eyes, take a breath then open my eyes I can start to see a type of double vision, like I am stepping out of my body.

This has only ever happened once before and it was from *omitted*.

The large churches here have failed me terribly. I was among them and yet they allowed me to eat at a table alone. I did not exist to them.

They will weep when I show them that they were more interested in money and those that bring money. They say they are for the family but they were for the dollar. They sung praises and prayed but they did nothing to reach out to those that are alone.

But Hillsong shall rejoice when everyone is shown how great and faithful they are.

_______________________

I never got the megachurch thing.  *omitted* homey churches like *omitted*.  Great place, good people, giving – not some big million dollar catholic cathedral decked in gold – just humble and good.

_______________________

I have no problem with Cathedrals. In ancient times it gave people something beautiful to worship in. They did not have homes with TVs and computers and this & that. So why not let them experience great beauty in a house of God. It makes sense to me. Their entire lives were humble, especially compared to ours.

I remember being in awe and wonder at the Cathedrals I got to see in Vienna when I was there and I was glad that the church experience would be so special for those people.

And as for the mega-churches, once again I say that Hillsong has done it right. Small churches can have their own problems with people forming cliques and other such problems.

Hillsong split people up into groups after the service, they really did it right. And when they did it big it was incredible. I still remember a beach party they had. Thousands of Christians descending on *omitted*, it was amazing, and the local businesses loved it! So much blessing could be brought to these small businesses because of Hilsong’s organization and leadership.

_______________________

The problem I have with cathedrals is they drew attention away from god and instead to the splendor of the church.  For people taking a vow of poverty to live in houses of gold is hypocritical (to me at least).
I just prefer a simple house of god, I suppose.

_______________________

Fair enough, I guess I just see it more from the point of view of the people of the time. I think if your heart is for God then a splendorous place of worship just gives you a beautiful place to be in.

I know that I was able to see the giant Cathedrals of Vienna with a Christian heart and all I could think was that men’s love for God was so great that an architect gave his all, stone masons crafted beauty and men worked together to make something great.

I actually found myself being challenged by these men’s love for God because of this. But maybe that was a perspective that was meant for me. I don’t think whether it’s a humble school room or a giant cathedral ultimately matters. The enemy gets into everything, infiltrates everything. There are demons in small churches and demons in big churches seeking to undo the Light. It always comes down to individual hearts.

And ultimately, that there is choice is great. The simple house exists for you, the Hillsong exists for those that like to be/feelpart of something huge.

_______________________

This is a great response :D  You’re absolutely right.